I decided to make this a trilogy. I don’t know how others cope with sexual assault, but I think it’s important for me to share my story in order to heal.

I was in the deepest depths of despair when I wrote this. A place I don’t ever want to be again. Writing pulled me out of the darkness when I was alone. Writing saved my life.

Jan. 5, 2016 6:34 pm

2016 is going terribly so far.

I wanted to kill myself today. Take a few handfuls of pills and fall asleep and never wake up. It would be so easy. Nobody cares if I’m here or not. I’d make all their lives easier if I was gone. 

Everyone always says suicide is selfish, but maybe it’s not selfish? Maybe it’s selfless instead? Take myself out of this world and make it easier on everyone I love. They deserve better than me. I’m just a burden on them all. 

I’m useless. I’m a useless human.

A fucking succubus. 

All I do is take and I give nothing. Even when I try to give, I end up taking more. They don’t need that. They don’t need me. Should’ve just let me die when I was a kid. At least then I could’ve went out as an innocent.

I should just swallow a handful of pills and be done with it.


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